A friend at work has kind of adopted me into her family. I think she sees me as a peer, like taking a peer under their week. I have always been a peer to adults, and I feel like I’m just a kid and adults should have “professional boundaries” around me. I mean, I’m in my 20s, but I feel like a kid. Maybe it’s a self-consciousness/confidence thing, key word being just a kid. When I was in 9th grade, my English teacher invited me to Starbucks and the City University because she felt like I was talented and underappreciated. Something. It was very kind of her, truly, but I have always felt a sense of unreality with that type of situation.
Is this really happening, us, right now, directed at me, significant, genuine, now? Me?
S invites me for dinner. She has a daughter a few years younger than me and a son in his teens. They say the F-word in front of each other, they aren’t religious, they have a “family”-voice rather than a “family-member-specific”-voice. And they are so, so functional and happy together. S makes pretty cool Pampered Chef and budget gourmet dinners. I didn’t feel like I needed to binge eat at all. I felt like my needs were being met and it wasn’t even my family.
Weird.
Also, it occurred to me yesterday that I didn’t know anyone when I moved out here.
My supervisor smirked at me and said, “That was fairly brave.”
I guess I didn’t know that ‘til now.
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